baloonworld (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
baloonworld) wrote2013-10-21 10:42 pm
baloonworld) wrote2013-10-21 10:42 pm
Entry tags:
- fanfiction,
- fic,
- ic,
- larp,
- non-canon,
- popes,
- short,
- short absurd stories,
- story,
- stupid
(no subject)
Gah! setting!
Today
"I challenge you for the right to be recognised as member of the Scheming Weasel tribe between the hours of noon and two pee emm tomorrow."
"Wot? You ain't no gobo."
"I'm a better goblin than you."
"You ain't"
"I iz! I just pinched your rock."
"Oi! Thass mine!"
"An' now you're being brave at me! Wot sort of gobo is you?"
"Right thass it. I'm gonna follow you at a safe distance an' then shiv you up when your back is turned."
"Oh yeah! I'm gonna stab you in the back right now, then steal your name and your right to be a tribe member in perpetuity!"
"Thass some good stealin'"
"Or you could just let me be a tribemember between noon and two pee em tomorrow. I'll give you this rock for it."
"Done!"
"Done!"
Yesterday evening
"Right new step in the plan. The orcs will only let me fight them for the right to be their leader if I'm a greenskin. But! they can see through my rather pathetic illusions. But! they are pedantically legalistic about their dueling rights: If I can be officially green they'll have to let me fight them for chiefhood."
Yesterday after lunch
"Legalisticly-minded verdent-skinned bastards. Why did I think that anything that Archer did could possibly be fun? He's not even one of the cool paladins."
Yesterday morning
The Orc tribe had not allowed an honour dual for the leadership of the tribe, on the basis that "I look a bit like an Orc. I've got like, ears and things. Orcs have got ears, I've got ears. See? practically identical." Nor had they allowed an honour fight against the tribe's champions for the right to an honour dual with the leader for leadership of the tribe. Further, they had been against a "fight with that guy, for the right to challenge you for a fight for the right to have a fight with him, for the right to fight the champion for the right to fight the chief."
Yesterday at breakfast
"No! Its fine I've seen Archer do this hundreds of times!"
"You know what I'll do to you if you die."
"Seriously, trust me on this, and then we'll have a fire orc tribe. It'll be awesome!"
At an undetermined time
"So! I challenge this badger to a duel for the right to be recognised as a creature of this forest!"
Oddly, Aurinyan seemed to be getting in on the absurdity, and had challenged several trees to duels; he would later explain that if the tall leafy bastards thought it was okay to cast the undergrowth in shadow, surely they couldn't expect any better than that anyone else with a need for sunlight would, in turn, hack them off at the trunk.
Tomorrow, noon
"Right, I'm now a member of the Scheming Weasel tribe*, and have been duly appointed a greenskin, so now, I challenge that guy for the right to challenge Fire Eye Clan warriors to duals. Once I've challenged him I can challenge a Fire Eye clan warrior for the right to challenge Sensei Blazing Fist for the right to challenge Champion Urk. If I defeat Urk, they'll let me challenge Archer to be chief."
"..."
"Dammit Archer!"
*also, a member of the Cottingwood Sett, but since none of the badgers turned out to be Sy, that was not particularly relevant.
Today
"I challenge you for the right to be recognised as member of the Scheming Weasel tribe between the hours of noon and two pee emm tomorrow."
"Wot? You ain't no gobo."
"I'm a better goblin than you."
"You ain't"
"I iz! I just pinched your rock."
"Oi! Thass mine!"
"An' now you're being brave at me! Wot sort of gobo is you?"
"Right thass it. I'm gonna follow you at a safe distance an' then shiv you up when your back is turned."
"Oh yeah! I'm gonna stab you in the back right now, then steal your name and your right to be a tribe member in perpetuity!"
"Thass some good stealin'"
"Or you could just let me be a tribemember between noon and two pee em tomorrow. I'll give you this rock for it."
"Done!"
"Done!"
Yesterday evening
"Right new step in the plan. The orcs will only let me fight them for the right to be their leader if I'm a greenskin. But! they can see through my rather pathetic illusions. But! they are pedantically legalistic about their dueling rights: If I can be officially green they'll have to let me fight them for chiefhood."
Yesterday after lunch
"Legalisticly-minded verdent-skinned bastards. Why did I think that anything that Archer did could possibly be fun? He's not even one of the cool paladins."
Yesterday morning
The Orc tribe had not allowed an honour dual for the leadership of the tribe, on the basis that "I look a bit like an Orc. I've got like, ears and things. Orcs have got ears, I've got ears. See? practically identical." Nor had they allowed an honour fight against the tribe's champions for the right to an honour dual with the leader for leadership of the tribe. Further, they had been against a "fight with that guy, for the right to challenge you for a fight for the right to have a fight with him, for the right to fight the champion for the right to fight the chief."
Yesterday at breakfast
"No! Its fine I've seen Archer do this hundreds of times!"
"You know what I'll do to you if you die."
"Seriously, trust me on this, and then we'll have a fire orc tribe. It'll be awesome!"
At an undetermined time
"So! I challenge this badger to a duel for the right to be recognised as a creature of this forest!"
Oddly, Aurinyan seemed to be getting in on the absurdity, and had challenged several trees to duels; he would later explain that if the tall leafy bastards thought it was okay to cast the undergrowth in shadow, surely they couldn't expect any better than that anyone else with a need for sunlight would, in turn, hack them off at the trunk.
Tomorrow, noon
"Right, I'm now a member of the Scheming Weasel tribe*, and have been duly appointed a greenskin, so now, I challenge that guy for the right to challenge Fire Eye Clan warriors to duals. Once I've challenged him I can challenge a Fire Eye clan warrior for the right to challenge Sensei Blazing Fist for the right to challenge Champion Urk. If I defeat Urk, they'll let me challenge Archer to be chief."
"..."
"Dammit Archer!"
*also, a member of the Cottingwood Sett, but since none of the badgers turned out to be Sy, that was not particularly relevant.