I'm a postgraduate student, am I eligable for a university pension?

Note: At each stage, repeat the title
take the route marked 1 the first time, the one marked 2 will only open up after you have performed other actions. Do not take the routes marked "yes" or "HR". Although they are expected to take you to the start this has not been tested. They may take you, inexplicably, to the exams unit.

                        START
                           ||
                           ||
                           \/
I'll put a<---------H.R- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -+
request to           ||                                     /\
leslie blair           ||1
for you.               ||                                      |
                           \/
        "I don't know, I'll pass you                  |
       over to student administration"
                           \/                                       |
                   Exams unit
                           \/                                      |
    "WTF? Try student records"
                           \/                                       |
               Student records
                           \/                                       |
    "I don't know why I've even got
     this call do you want me to put -(yes)->+
            you through to HR?"                        /\
                           \/                                       |
        "No I've done that. They put
       me through to the exams office"
                           \/                                       |
       "OH! you've been invigilating!"
                           \/                                       |
                         "No".
     Explain what "postgrad" means.             |
                        Again
                           \/                                        |
         "I can't help. how about - -(HR) -  - >  +
                Loraine or HR"                             |
                           \/                                        |
                       Loraine                                  |
                           \/                                        |
"I don't know. Try HR" - -(surrender) - - >    +

EDIT: I quite like the wobbly formatting Lj has given the paths: its like how I feel :)